Five Common Divorce Myths in India You Need to Stop Believing
PUNE, India — Divorce is still taboo in much of India, and it can be extremely costly for those trapped in bad marriages. From rumors down the street to well-intentioned but off-base counsel from family members, myths about divorce seem to travel as quickly as common sense. All of these untrue thoughts can keep people from making rational decisions about their marriages and legal rights.
So whether you are thinking about a separation or have a friend going through divorce or simply want to know more about Indian family law, it’s time to separate the wheat from chaff. It’s time we debunk some of the most common divorce myths that are misleading people all over India.
Why Divorce Myths Are Dangerous
Before we get to a few specific myths, let’s address why the lies that have bubbled up around reopening matter. Wrong information about divorce can:
- Keep people in abusive or unhappy marriages
- Coerce or compel someone to waive legal rights they have
- Scare you about starting divorce filings for no legitimate reason
- Result in a poor financial settlement upon separation
- Generate false hopes regarding the divorce process
- Break the relationship with kids because of misunderstanding
The Indian legal system has changed by leaps and bounds over the years, but public perception hasn’t. Let’s clear up the confusion.
Myth #1: Filing for Divorce is a Man’s Prerogative – Only Men Have The Right to File For A Divorce
Some people still think that it can only be the man who files for divorce.
The Reality: This is flat-out false. In India, both the husbands and wives have an equal right to seek a break in their marriage.
According to all personal laws in India vis-a-vis the relationship of Hindu, Muslim, Christian or Parsi, women have jurisdiction to be able to file for divorce. We also need to factor in that apart from Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act of 1974, personal laws expressly provide for wives to seek divorce.
As a matter of fact, the latest numbers indicate that women are actually filing for divorce at higher rates. Thousands of divorce petitions filed by wives are clogging Indian courts every year. Cruelty, adultery, desertion and mental cruelty are common grounds.
Women may also seek divorce on the basis of certain grounds that are not available to men in some laws. For instance, Hindu laws permit a wife to seek divorce if her husband has another living wife, while this ground is not available to the husband.
For expert legal guidance on divorce matters, visit Zista Legalis.
Myth #2: Divorce Takes Forever—At Least 5-7 Years
The Reality: Though it can be a somewhat slow process in India, not all divorces take years.
It varies depending on a variety of factors:
Mutual Consent Divorce: This is the quickest way. Mutual consent divorces can take 6 months – 1 year (even more in certain cases according to the amended law-2024). The wait was previously 6 months, but now a court can waive the waiting period if both parties consent so it can be much shorter.
Contested Divorce: These take much longer — usually anywhere from 2-5 years, and not in all cases 7 years! The duration depends on:
- How contested the case is
- Court backlog in your area
- Complexity of financial settlements
- Custody disputes
- Whether one or both continues requesting adjournments
Family courts are operating in key cities such as Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore to cut down on delays. If both spouses are willing to work together during the proceedings, some cases are resolved within 18-24 months.
Divorce Duration Overview
| Type of Divorce | Common Duration | Factors to Consider |
|---|---|---|
| Mutual Consent | 6-18 months | Court caseload, filing |
| Contested (Simple) | 2-3 years | Information collection, availability of witnesses |
| Contested (Complex) | 3-5 years | Property settlement issues, custody disagreements and appeals |
| Domestic Violence Affected | 2-4 years minimum | Criminal court matters and protection orders |
Myth #3: The Mother Always Wins Custody of the Children
The Reality: In India, the “best interest of a child” serves as guiding principle, not automatic maternal custody.
Although mothers commonly win custody of young children (particularly those who are under 5), it’s not a hard and fast rule. Courts consider multiple factors:
- Age and gender of the child
- Child’s choice (if able to express)
- Financial stability of each parent
- Parents’ mental and physical health
- Parent’s readiness to assist the other parent in maintaining a relationship and bond with the child
- Who has looked after them the most
- History of abuse or neglect
More fathers are getting custody, particularly for older children. Courts have increasingly been willing to award joint custody, in which both parents share parenting duties.
Important Note: Children 9 and over may voice their wishes to the judge, although that is not the only determining factor.
Myth #4: You Need Your Spouse to Agree to Divorce
The Reality: You can initiate the divorce process without your spouse’s consent.
There is a mix-up in this myth of two separate types of divorces:
Mutual Consent Divorce: Yes, both spouses should agree on the divorce and all issues like child custody, support, alimony and property. That’s the easier, quicker solution.
Contested Divorce: You can initiate divorce proceedings in spite of your spouse’s refusal. You must have legally recognized reasons such as:
- Adultery
- Cruelty (physical or mental)
- Desertion for two continuous years
- Conversion to another religion
- Mental disorder
- Communicable disease (like leprosy)
- Renunciation of the world
- Death presumption (missing for 7 years)
For wives, additional grounds include:
- Husband’s remarriage before current marriage
- Rape, sodomy, or bestiality by husband
- Non-cohabitation after maintenance decree
It does take more time, and it is more complicated without consent, but it’s definitely feasible as long as the individual already has valid grounds in place.
Myth #5: Women Automatically Win Massive Alimony Payments
The Reality: Alimony is not automatic, nor a sure thing, and it’s certainly not always significant.
Alimony depends on many factors, and there’s no set formula for how much should be given:
Factors for Alimony Award:
- Wife’s income and earning capacity
- Husband’s income and financial status
- Standard of living during marriage
- Duration of marriage
- The age and health of each individual
- Marital contributions (including as homemaker)
- All property and assets in the wife’s name
Courts in India ordinarily grant 25-35% of the husband’s income as alimony, but practice differs widespread. A wife who has sufficient income may get nominal or no alimony. Court systems want to be fair, not punitive.
Types of Alimony:
Interim Maintenance: Paid as per Court order during the period proceedings are pending.
Permanent Alimony: Either lump sum one-off payment or monthly maintenance.
Rehabilitative Alimony: For specific time or until party receiving support remarries.
Husbands are also entitled to seek modifications if their income has changed significantly since the divorce decree.
For more information on family law matters, check out this helpful resource on Indian divorce laws.
Myth #6: Dowry Harassment Cases Are Always True
The Reality: Dowry harassment is a grave offense, but false cases do happen and courts in India carefully analyze evidence.
Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code deals with cruelty by husband and relatives. This law is crucial for keeping women safe, but the Supreme Court has recognized that it’s occasionally abused.
Courts now look for:
- Consistent, detailed complaints
- Medical evidence of injuries
- Witness testimonies
- Documentary proof (messages, emails, receipts)
- History of the relationship
- Timing of the complaint
There are a few safeguards against preventive or automatic arrest in 498A cases, provided by a Supreme Court ruling of 2017, that require the police to filter and verify allegations before making arrests. But in reality, actual dowry harassment is highly punishable with imprisonment to culprits.
The key point: It’s a case-by-case call. The answer isn’t blind faith or blanket skepticism — evidence matters.
Myth #7: With a Divorce You Have No Rights in Family Property
The Reality: Divorce doesn’t invariably result in loss of property rights. People don’t automatically lose their right to the house just because they get divorced, especially if it was jointly held or self-acquired.
What Wife Can Claim:
- Share in jointly owned property
- Stridhan (gifts, jewellery given by parents or relatives before/during marriage)
- Property purchased in her name
- Share in joint bank accounts
- Support or alimony in the place of property rights
What Wife Cannot Usually Claim:
- The husband’s separate property (unless certain exceptions apply)
- Premarital property titled in the husband’s name only
- Husband’s ancestral property (although she may be ordered to pay maintenance)
Hindu women have property rights by virtue of the Hindu Succession Act. There are differences for Muslim women under personal law, the right to Mehr (dower) among them. Both Christian and Parsi women have their own laws relating to property rights.
The court will evaluate the financial contribution (direct or indirect) of each spouse toward obtaining the marital property.
Myth #8: If Your Spouse Cheats You Can Get Divorced Right Away
The Reality: Adultery is a cause for divorce, but proving it and getting the divorce are time-consuming.
Though adultery is one of the most substantial grounds for divorce under personal laws, you have to:
Prove the Adultery: Proving adultery is not easy and courts will typically require:
- Photographs or videos
- Witness testimonies
- Confession or admission
- Private investigator reports
- Electronic evidence (messages, emails)
- Hotel receipts, travel records
Circumstantial evidence alone may not be sufficient. The burden is heavy since the charge is serious.
Follow the Rules to Divorce: Even if you have evidence it doesn’t make it easy. You follow procedures (file, serve with notice of petition, hearings) and then wait for the judge. It usually takes 1-3 years for the process to be completed, depending on whether the grounds are contested by your spouse.
Note: The Supreme Court decriminalized adultery in 2018, so it is no longer considered a crime — but it is still a valid ground for civil divorce proceedings.
Myth #9: No Divorce in the First Year of Marriage
The Reality: This is not entirely true, but has significant exceptions.
Generally, under Section 14 of the Hindu Marriage Act, you cannot file for divorce within one year of getting married. Similar limitations apply under other personal laws. It is logic that allows couples time to mend their relationship.
However, there are exceptions:
- Cases involving exceptional hardship
- Cases of brutal behavior by the other spouse
- Cases in which refusal to act is itself an injustice
Courts may allow a filing less than one year after in the most extreme circumstances such as:
- Domestic violence
- Extreme cruelty
- Fraud or misrepresentation prior to the marriage
- Mental or physical abuse
Even in the first year, you are allowed to file for judicial separation, annulment and maintenance orders. The one year rule is limited to divorce specifically.
Myth #10: Divorce Causes Families to Disassociate with You
The Reality: In India, despite social stigma, attitudes about divorce are changing.
This is a culturally conditioned belief and not a legal reality. The truth is:
Legal Rights Do Not Cease: Your legal rights to family property of your parental family, inheritance and relationships in the family don’t get abolished just because you are divorced. Unmarried daughters get same rights as divorced daughters in Succession law.
Shifting Social Attitudes: Urban India in particular has loosened its hold on divorce. Factors driving this change include:
- Higher education levels
- Financial independence of women
- Exposure to global cultures
- Mental well-being and health awareness
- Realization that miserable marriages are unhealthy for everyone, including children
Many divorced people say that while some of their family members expressed skepticism at first, in the end most families made peace with a loved one’s decision. There are also support systems such as support groups, counseling and online communities.
Build Your Support System: Instead of stressing about what relatives think, focus on building a strong support system of friends who understand your situation, and maybe even a professional or two.
Myth #11: It Becomes Easy to Terminate Only Court Marriage and Rest is Not Dissolvable
Fact: All marriages which are legally recognized under the Special Marriage Act or a personal law can be ended by way of any procedure established by law in India.
The divorce process applies to:
- Marriage by any form of religious ceremony (Hindu, Muslim, Christian and Parsi)
- Marriage in court under Special Marriage Act
- Registered marriages
- Marriages which are not registered
What one has to prove is whether the marriage is valid and you have a ground of divorce in accordance with personal law applicable. The type of ceremony or registration status does not make a divorce “easy” or “difficult.”
Having marriage papers goes a long way to facilitate your divorce process, but that’s not the main issue.
Myth #12: Remarriage is Out of the Question Once You’re Divorced
The Reality: In India, divorce laws for both men and women permit remarriage.
You can remarry once the divorce decree itself has been finalized and the appeal period, if there is one (usually 90 days), has come and gone. There’s no waiting period beyond this for Hindus, Christians and those married under the Special Marriage Act.
For Muslim Women: The Muslim Personal law provides for an Iddat period (approximately 3 months) before remarriage to ensure that the woman is not pregnant from her previous marriage.
The fact that you’re divorced does not pose any legal barriers to remarriage. Social acceptance has also increased, particularly in urban centers where divorced people often remarry and create successful families.
Red Flags: When These Myths Are Dangerous
There’s more than misinformation to the embracing of these myths. Believing them can be really damaging. Seek legal help immediately if:
- You’re still in an abusive relationship because you feel that you don’t have any rights at all
- Somebody is trying to manipulate or control you with these myths
- You’re being coerced into signing away legal rights under false pretenses
- You (or your children) may not be safe
- They threaten that if you want divorce, they will file false cases on you
Do not let myths stop you from investigating your legal rights. A family attorney can help remove ambiguity in your case.
Visit Zista Legalis for professional legal consultation.
How to Get Accurate Information
Instead of succumbing to rumors and myths, here’s where to find the facts:
Professional Sources:
- Licensed family law attorneys
- Legal aid services (free for those eligible)
- Family court help desks
- Certified mediators
Government Resources:
- National Legal Services Authority (NALSA)
- State Legal Services Authorities
- Women’s helplines (NCW: 7827-170-170)
- Cyber crime helpline for online threatening
Documentation:
- Full texts of marriage acts online
- Judgments of the Supreme Court and High Courts
- Official government law websites
Support Services:
- Counseling centers
- Women’s rights organizations
- Support groups for divorced individuals
Do NOT take legal advice from even well-meaning but ill-informed friends, relatives or social media groups without checking on the issue from a reliable source.
Taking the First Step
If you are contemplating divorce, or if you have a legal issue involving one of the following topics that affects your married life, follow this advice:
Immediate Steps:
- Seek advice from a competent family lawyer (many offer first consultations without charge)
- Collect relevant documents (marriage certificate, financial papers)
- Record any abuses/cruelties with dates and descriptions
- Open another bank account if you share finances
- Keep personal documents and valuables safe and sound
Emotional Preparation:
- Consider professional counseling
- Build a support network
- Learn as much as you can about the law
- Plan for financial independence
- Concentrate on your health and that of your children
Remember, the more you know about your rights as a spouse, the better equipped you will be to make smart decisions — whether those decisions ultimately include divorce or staying in the marriage.
Moving Forward: Knowledge Is Power
Myths about divorce survive because they are seldom contested in the open. By knowing the facts about Indian divorce laws, you are in a better position to take decisions that’ll benefit your future.
No two marriages are alike, and neither are divorces. What suited someone else may not meet your need. Generalized tips from non-specialists are often misleading or potentially unhealthy. You should always seek the advice of a professional capable of analyzing your particular situation.
Whether you’re going through it yourself, helping someone else during the divorce cycle, or just learning about how to manage divorces in India, keep in mind that the Indian legal system provides for protections and rights for both spouses. Don’t allow out-of-date myths to continue blocking you from the justice and peace that belong to you.
Divorce is a very personal decision often fraught with anguish. Let it be fact-based, not fear-driven by misinformation. No less than informed, empowered choices are due your future — and that of your children.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q1: Can I be divorced if my spouse’s whereabouts are unknown?
Yes. If your spouse left and abandoned you or your husband/wife is missing, and you are not aware of his/her whereabouts for 2 continuous years, you can file a divorce on the grounds of desertion. Otherwise, after the period of seven years, he/she may be presumed to be dead. The court will send out notices and continue with the case should your spouse fail to respond.
Q2: Do I need to retain an expensive lawyer for divorce?
Not necessarily. Legal aid services offer pro bono legal aid to those that qualify, especially women. Most lawyers have sliding scale fees depending on income. The expenses for mutual consent divorces are generally relatively cheaper. Nevertheless, it is strongly recommended that you have an attorney to safeguard your rights.
Q3: Will my in-laws go to jail if I lodge a complaint of harassment?
Not automatically. The police need to investigate first before taking action. The Supreme Court has already made clear observation that without any preliminary investigation, there shall be no automatic arrest of individuals under Section 498A (dowry harassment). But if there’s proof in favor of your claim, your husband and in-laws will surely face legal consequences.
Q4: Can your spouse take your child away from you during a divorce?
Parental abduction is illegal and punishable by law. You are able to get interim custody orders from the court during divorces. If you’re worried someone is going to abduct your child, file for an emergency custody petition and inform the court. It is not open to either parent to take the child out of India without orders of the court during pendency of the custody claim.
Q5: If I go to work will I lose custody after a divorce?
No. Indeed being financially stable from having a job can actually help to make your custody case better. Parents who are capable of meeting their children’s needs find favor with courts. Having a job simply means you can support a family, not that you aren’t capable of parenting. The point here is to show you can work and take care of a child at the same time, successfully.
Q6: Can my husband make me take a lie detector test or force me into medical testing during the divorce?
Courts can order medical exams under certain circumstances (such as mental health issues or disputes over paternity), but your permission is usually needed. Nobody can force you to take a test without court orders. Anything obtained through force or without legal authority cannot be used in court.
Q7: Can I receive alimony if I am highly educated and able to work?
Just because you’re educated doesn’t mean you won’t qualify for maintenance. Courts will look at your actual income, employment status, age and health as well as your responsibilities (like taking care of children) and the standard of living during marriage. Even wives with incomes have been getting maintenance where there’s a big gap in spouses’ earning potential.
Q8: Can I date while my divorce is pending?
You are still married legally until the divorce decree is entered. Dating during divorce will affect your case. To some extent, waiting until the divorce is finalized is recommended, but this decision is a personal one with legal ramifications you should discuss with your lawyer.
Q9: My wife/husband is not signing mutual consent divorce papers. What do I do?
When your spouse doesn’t agree for mutual consent divorce, you need to file for contested divorce based on valid grounds such as adultery, cruelty, desertion, conversion, mental disorder, communicable disease, renunciation, or presumption of death. You can’t make someone agree to mutual consent—that’s why it’s “mutual.” But you can still push forward with a contested divorce on your own if you have valid grounds.
Q10: Can I prevent my spouse from remarrying after our divorce?
No. After a divorce is final and the appeal time has run out, an ex-spouse is free to remarry. The only thing you could do to prevent remarriage would be if there’s some sort of specific legal dispute (such as a divorce proceeding that is not yet final) or if he/she is attempting bigamy. Concentrate on your healing and the life you can have without being obsessed with controlling your ex’s future.
For expert legal guidance on divorce and family law matters in India, visit Zista Legalis today.
